Tag Archives: #tween

Does he hold the key to your heart?

“So, how’s that guy?” my grandmother asked with a grin.

I loved to call my grandmother and tell her about the fun dates I had with Jason.

After her major stroke, she became even more dear to me. One day, in her wheel chair, she held out her feeble hand to me and slowly waved one finger in the air.

“Does he hold the key to you heart?” she asked.

I was tongue-tied.

“I think he does. But what matters is… Do you think he does?” she asked.

While I nodded, I really thought about her question. It implied that my heart had a door and it required something.  Looking into the eyes of my sweet grandma who had been married almost 50 years, I  was shaken to my core of what I believed in about love. She wasn’t just asking if I was in love with Jason. She knew that. Instead she was asking me if Jason’s love for me meant the deepest longings of my heart.

After some thought, here’s what I determined my heart required:

1. Patience.  The relationship moves at a pace I feel comfortable with. And I am not pushed into anything that is outside of God’s commandments. I was once with an impatient boyfriend and we broke but because I wasn’t willing. I’m glad I did. My life verse for this situation is, “Unless the Lord builds the house, its builders labor in vain.” Psalms 127:1 (NIV)

2. Honesty. Knowing you can be real.  That we both can be open about our struggles, temptations and fears. And even past relationship failures. Proverbs 12:19 “Truthful lips endure forever, but a lying tongue lasts only a moment.” (NIV) and 1 Corinthians 13:6 “Love  does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.”

3. “No-one else-kind-of”Love. It may be a generic word for a romantic situation. But the word “love” these days gets tossed around like a side salad.  Love for me is the kind where you know you could never live without him. The only kind of love you feel for him and no one else. It’s knowing that you long to commit to him for life.  In this kind of love I honor my relationship. I think Proverbs 19:22 (ESV) sums it up: “What is desired in a man is steadfast love.”

4. Cherished.  I know that he doesn’t just love me for your physical appearance or special talents/gifts. He loves all of me.  I am accepted for who I am. And he isn’t trying to change me for his benefit, but he’s cherishing me, the way God would. The purpose of how we cherish each other and chose to live our lives together is summarized in Ecclesiastes 4:12, “Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves, a cord of three strands is not quickly broken.” (NIV)

My precious grandma was right to ask. We all should. Even if we aren’t dating yet.  Because it’s better to know the standards of your heart now, than later.

The day we buried my grandmother, I laid one rose on her grave and whispered, “Jason held the key to my heart. I will always love you.”



The Day the Willows Stopped Weeping

I am not sure of the exact date, but I am remember it was a crisp cool day in the autumn. And I quite remember their light droopy branches gliding through my bangs, kind of like the soapy drapes that flop around in a car wash. I lay on the crunchy grass and admired how their willows pooled on the ground.

I wondered why are they called weeping willows. If anyone should be weeping, it should be me. I had, after all, written my 95th journal entry about Simon, only to see him holding hands with his new girlfriend. My Simon, how could he not know how I felt? We were supposed to be holding hands. Not her, whoever she was.

A few tears welled up in my eyes as I thought, “Why are you weeping willow trees?”

Only before I could say it, that question was asked of me.

The weeping willow tree leaned slightly to the left and said, “Why do you weep, Budding Flower?”

I was surprised, yet relieved to have someone to talk with, even if it was a tree.

“Because no one loves me,” I said as my lips puckered, holding back the waterworks of tears.

Diverting the tree from my love problem, I asked it, “Why do you weep, Willows?”

“I weep for you, Budding Flower,” It said.

“For me?” I said.

“You weep because no one loves you. I weep because I love you,” It said.

“How long will you keep weeping for someone like me?” I asked, as I curled up at the base of its trunk, laying my head on its bark.

“The day my willows stop weeping, is when you weep no more,” It said.

My eyes gushed with tears.

“I can’t imagine a day when I will ever stop weeping. I practically sob over the littlest things.”

“Me too,” It said as I felt it’s willows rise off the ground to smile.

“My willows pool at your feet weeping for the loveliness in your budding heart,” It said.

I felt a cool breeze blow by drying my eyes.

Then, I made probably the easiest promise I could ever make with a tree.

I promised the Willows, I’d never stop weeping, and It promised too.


Writer’s Interpretation

In our sadness, disappointments, and missed opportunities, let’s face it… we SOB! This world is full of the gushers, those of us who cry. And the stuffers, those of us who stuff feelings and don’t cry.  I am a gusher, and I’m here to say: “It’s okay.”  While we don’t have a talking willow tree to tell us, we have Jesus Christ to love us and cry with us. One of the shortest passages in the bible says, “Jesus wept.”  So, if he did, we sure can.  Psalms 55:22 reads, “Cast your cares on the Lord, and he will sustain you.” (NIV) I would add, even the littlest cares, like the Simons. Be encouraged.